Very often, women who focus on making it to the top of their game have the stigma of lacking charisma and socialization skills. Unfortunately, from experience I can say this has been proven to be true.

Our socializing is mostly done outside of the work place. Our charisma, along with our sincerity and loyalty, shines through to our career. Being optimistic in the things we do, and being supportive leaders, employees, and colleagues, are the things we have to remember - and what makes us successful in the long run. Having a back-up plan is a good idea, as well as having the ability to look beyond the big the picture. “Look outside the box” is a commonly used expression in businesses.

The chances of a woman to get a promotion whose personality is combined with compassion and versatility are rather low. Especially women have to be able to focus on the company sincerely, without any emotional interference, because they are expected to be emotional, thus looked upon more critically.

So you become what is known as a hard-ass to the majority, and a company girl to the rest. You become thick-shelled because you can’t afford to get too close to someone who could stab you in the back, or influence your decisions in  any way.

You are over-ambitious to some; yet to yourself, you are only doing what is necessary. That’s because you know that your office is only as good as the boss running it.

I feel you are taken even more serious if you are single. Being taken seriously is not always easy for women in business, since many men still feel a woman’s place os the home. This goes parallel to the emotional ties.

On top of that, if you are a mother, your potential to perform in your job is questioned almost automatically, yet if you are a father, it isn’t in question. This is why many of us have put off marriage and having a family until after we have accomplished what we want professionally.

This doesn’t mean I didn’t make small gestures for my division, like buying bagels every now and then, and occasionally pizza. But coming up with incentives and enforcing a personal job goal list was about as close as I would allow myself to get with them. This was by choice. I feel my part as boss was mainly to keep everyone focused and guide them to accomplishing success.

I didn’t have a problem delegating work or calling someone in when I was not satisfied with their productivity. I always calmly suggested better strategies for them to try. Of  course, sometimes you run into gender problems, and the occasional age gap.

I really hated when it was time to do their evaluations. I made a practice of taking them home to do. Even at company parties, I was always on my toes.

From Business to Private

I have a small group of close friends who know me well; then a few acquaintances, and of course the business associates and clients. The most common trait with our little group of friends is that we have established careers. We share a low profile social life. Occasionally, we had house parties or BBQ’s.

We always tried to have dinner together once a month, and on occasion, someone would introduce a significant other. In this case, it was someone that they were planning on committing to, but wanted approval before hand.

I have to admit, this was more of a guy thing than a girl thing. When the guy who brought the new girl left right after dinner, the interesting part started. An air of concern would cover the table upon their sudden departure, as in “who did or said what to make her feel uncomfortable.” Who, us?

Looking back on those evenings, I really feel we intimidated a couple of the girls (unintentionally, of course). Then, if he was ready for a serious relationship, he didn’t need our approval.

Business Bunny

One of Thumper’s and my first attractions was that we shared a dedication and drive in the business field. I would tell him something and he blew my mind with his suggestions and encouragement.

This certain straight-forwardness and somewhat aggressive attitude of mine also surfaced when I asked him if he was an axe murderer (this was in one of our very first encounters). This broke the ice - and today I can say that being audacious as a woman will not only serve you well in business, but also in your private life. It got me my Thumper after all!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Thumper and I enjoyed four wonderful days of downtime. As you see, Bunny has had some minor cosmetic surgery (my blog for business women, not me). She is a little different, and hopefully you will find her more user friendly.

At the end of the year I think we all usually take a few moments to reflect. The good and the bad. Hopefully, the good outweighs the bad for all of us. I am also sure that if you look closely, the good has sometimes been taken for granted… It is all in how you have measured it.

Success has a variety of meanings for us. Life is no doubt a struggle to reach your goals. No matter how tough it may sometimes seem, staying aggressive and focused will ultimately get you there.

Step 1

Starting with determination and a positive mindset, you can conquer any of your goals. There is an importance of mind over matter here. You have to take into consideration that you need to be more self-disciplined. Do not be unrealistic with your goals, or expect others to be responsible for your success.

Step 2

Making a list of your goals is where to start your plan of attack. A reasonable time frame is important. Where do you want to be in 6 months, or at the end of the year?

Step 3

Find a way to give back to others or to the needy. This is a priceless feeling of achievement and believe it or not, it will help you value your success more once you’re there. It makes it worthwhile to share with others.

Step 4

Do not see a stumble as a plunge into the unknown, but an adventure to a new beginning. Be passionate in everything you do. This is life, there are no guarantees - except that you have the ability to make the most of it yourself.

I would like to hear how you measure success and what you feel is important to reach success. Please share your thoughts.

This quote is how I feel about it.

To laugh much and often; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of little children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have a Happy New Year!

A few weeks ago I noticed something was going on with my body. I was experiencing some physical signs I didn’t take too seriously. I was aware neither Thumper or I had been getting enough sleep. We hadn’t been eating all that well. We do eat healthy - but seem to skip meals when we get caught up with work.

I wrote the article Are You a Workaholic Too. Little did I know at the time that I was approaching a burnout myself. Read on →

You know when you wake up so refreshed, you not only smell, but feel nirvana is in the air. You open your eyes and are already smiling.

Ah yes, there’s nirvana just to the right of me! Still fast asleep. So you gently roll over to snuggle closer, in hopes of making your presence known. And just when things start getting interesting, the alarm clock from hell goes off!

We both jumped - thankfully without any injury. Then we both started laughing our butts off as Thumper reached for the clock.

Let me tell you about this alarm clock. It is loud enough to wake the whole street. People could become fearful that it is a city siren indicating national alert. But no, it’s just Thumper’s alarm clock.

To which I claim no ownership, by the way. Not half, not even community property. That monstrosity is all his!

Eventually, there will be an unforeseeable accident happening. For example, it will just disappear and will be held for ransom. I will even provide the note! (Although when I told Thumper about this possibility, he said he would never pay up.)

Thumper’s Recent Trauma

My darling recently went though a major devastating time. The market was out of his usual brand of coffee. So due to the shortage at home, he purchased another brand. He savored the next couple of days when he still had his regular brand to wake up with. He was concerned the brand would not be available. Slight panic set in for a short time. Then the day came when he had to open the new blend of coffee. He smelled it - “Ah yes, this smells so good” he exclaimed.

Then, the collapse. The taste, the boost - it just wasn’t cutting it. Now only another coffee fan(atic) (Ross, I’m looking at you!) can understand and relate to this. Personally, I am a tea drinker, but Thumper relies on caffeine effects to wake up. He loves the taste and generally has two cups per day.

With this blend of coffee it was inevitable that Thumper was miserable. He started off by saying he should have known better than to purchase a brand that targets elderly people through its advertising. I rolled my eyes and kept back my thoughts, asking myself, “does he ever stop thinking about his work?” (Thumper is in advertising). But I have to say, it does make sense.

He then went on to proclaiming that he wanted to redefine the definition of coffee. Mud water that looks like coffee, smells like coffee, but kicks in like mud water, shouldn’t be allowed to be called coffee.

I suggested using more scoops, so he did. Seven! Yes, I said 7 scoops, and then he was still drinking more than usual to wake up.

Finally, it was time to go shopping again. Thank Goodness, the store had restocked his brand.

Snowed in!

It has been snowing for the past 3 days here. Playing in the snow with the dog is great, being picked up, swung around, and thrown into the snow is another story! It is rather the warming up part after that I crave (to which Thumper usually feels obligated to after such “fun”).

And that’s it for today - I just thought I would share some of our experiences of these last few days with you. It’s Christmas in two days, and I want to wish you wonderful holidays, and hope you have a great time. Merry Christmas!

Yours,
Bunny

It is getting cold here in New York and I like to have a hot breakfast on chilly winter mornings. One of my favorites is warm oatmeal with fresh fruit added to it. I love a banana or an apple cut up to throw in to the pot as the oatmeal is cooking. Even a peach, if I have one. All you need is one cup of water and half a cup of oatmeal. You can add a dash of salt, but that is optional. It only takes five minutes to cook. Top it off with a bit of skim or low fat milk, and your tummy is satisfied until lunch.

Oatmeal was a tradition at my house growing up. When I mentioned it to Thumper, he wasn’t to enthused about it. As a matter of fact, he said “are really going to eat rabbit food”?
Read on →