This is a guest post from Zeenat Merchant-Syal, a practicing counseling psychologist with a degree in Counseling and Motivational Psychology, and degrees in various fields of Holistic and Naturopathic medicine. She lives in Mumbai, India with her husband and 2 year old child. Zeenat has become a great and valuable friend and source of inspiration to me. One of the many things that make Zeenat so easy and fun to connect with is her compassion and honesty endearing a life to help others.
When I read Zeenat’s words, I was in a awe of the deep message she was sending. You can read more on her blog Positive Provocations. And now, I am very proud to present today’s guest post on Bunny got Blog from her.
Lost In A Sea Of Identities
When you’re a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one’s lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.
- Sasha Azevedo
The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning, is look at my little mirror on the medicine cabinet in my bathroom before I take my toothbrush. And then I look at myself some more, if my little one hasn’t woken up by then. Looking in the mirror, I often see how wrinkly, disheveled or drowsy I look early in the morning and try to fix it. I think that’s the case every time I look at myself in the mirror. Have you ever wondered that this mirror that helps us see what we look like superficially, can also help us see your true self?
In today’s day and age, where women have the capacity and brains to go head to head with their male counterparts…it’s still called a mans world! I think probably it’s a Woman’s world…why?? Well, turn on your TV and there are advertisements every ten minutes; open any magazine and every second page has a full page advertisement as well. Everywhere you go, above buildings, the top of bridges, even the ladies room doors will have some kind of advertising there too. And notice this…surprisingly all these advertisements – nearly 90% – are aimed at women! So what, women today are strong and independent, financially secure and able, so whats the harm if she indulges? True, there is no harm. But most of these advertisements strutting those gorgeous models or actresses (who don’t actually use the product) are in fact for superficial products like hair color, creams, shampoos, cosmetics etc.
Why are we so obsessed with superficiality? Have we forgotten who we are? Aren’t we happy with our achievements on the inside? We have become so involved in this frenzy that we end up wanting that model’s hair, another one’s eyes and another’s figure and a house that is seen on magazine covers…and till we get those we feel like we aren’t good enough. This little feeling…sometimes can lead to severe lack of self worth.
Material objects become crutches to our own identity and we seem to lose our ability to live without them. There is such a high emotional attachment to these superficially enhancing objects that a feeling of helplessness creeps in once they are gone… Like good skin or lustrous hair….
In emulating these people in advertisements we shouldn’t forget our own identities. Media and the world in general will throw these identities at you and will make you feel like you need to identify with them. But we should know better. Know what are the positives and negatives of these identities and then maybe try and emulate the positive.
If you think about it, the early man survived without any enhancements. He operated from knowledge that he carried within him, a means of overcoming the challenges of day to day living. As we have advanced, so have our needs for superficial things.
We have forgotten how to live simply.
The only simple way to overcome the lack of self worth is knowledge. During the course of our lives, we absorb knowledge from various sources, including formal education, experiences, the environment and our families. That knowledge is the key to our true self worth. Knowledge is our gift we can share with each other, and it only grows by sharing.
The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and receive a smile in return – are to me continual spiritual exercises.
- Dr. Felice Leonardo Buscaglia, Ph.D. (31 March 1924 – 11 June 1998)
I once read about a successful business woman who was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors discouraged her from working at the hospital. She responded with the words: “My body is sick but not my mind!”
We have to carry on digging into our internal “goldmine”. This internal goldmine is the sole key to our lasting happiness and freedom from the crutches of Material Superficiality.
Many of us are constantly looking for a miracle to transform us and the world around us. But, the miracle lies within our true self which, due to the mask of material superficiality, cannot be seen clearly.
Now, when I look at myself in the mirror, I see my eyes and in them I see my ability to bring about miracles in my life, which I could never think about amidst the dark clouds that hovered over me before. I am my own true self without the need or desire for material superficiality. I am now ME.
Photos by H. Koppdelaney
You can read more from Zeenat on her blog Positive Provocations. Be sure to click through and give it a read, I’m sure you will enjoy it.
Thank you, Zeenat, for taking the time to write this wonderful post for us!
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