In my last articles, A Questionable Day and It’s Showtime, I talked about the pitfalls that happen to many of us who are being unleashed from the bounds of being underage. Coping with our new found freedom, and some of the experiences of dealing with mature matters, without the benefit of maturity. Or common sense.

The whole coming of age thing was more of a disappointment to me. Turning 21 had no significant value. I had been on my own since I was eighteen, living in Boston. Attending the university there. Parents still paying my bills and I was living with a family and tutoring the children during the week and running errands. This gave me some spending cash over the allowance I was still getting from my parents. Yeah, I know I was lucky. I was the proverbial nerd and it took a while before I began spreading my wings.

The direction I chose was travel. Started off small with road trips, and then on to the big time when I received my first credit card. The companies really make it so easy for students to get approved for these. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my parents, I would have destroyed my credit before I was 21. That would have been my worst nightmare.

This was when I discovered that I would rather travel than party. I was so living for the weekends and where we could fly out for a night, just to see how “the other side” lives. At first we stayed on the East Coast, but eventually the Midwest and West Coast were included. We hardly drank alcohol. We were more concerned with racking up our frequent flyer miles.

But to some, this was a big deal. The bars and clubs would serve you drinks. Now you could pay a bartender and have your own audience. It’s showtime, and you are the star.

Looking Back At College

I really didn’t see many friends wanting to pay the high prices for alcohol in a bar setting or club. We pretty much were content to drink in moderation at a house. Watching movies or playing ping ball. Only a few of us had the means to travel. During the week, we studied and worked, so we could venture out of our college town, where no one knew us.

I think very often, some young people who are learning about life make the mistake of thinking life is a party. Getting all glam’d up to impress a variety of people. Once inside, at the party, their attitude changes. They become more irresponsible. If their attire wouldn’t get them any attention, their superimposed flamboyant personality would.

No longer under the wing of adult supervision, but on their own. To make their mistakes or success stories happen.

It is perceived that a few have replaced the usual playground by the adult bar or club scene, while still acting childish and invincible.

They get caught up in the rush of having a buzz on, and meeting different people. People they wouldn’t normally associate with, but they are driven to it, because they are naive. It opens up the door to more drinking and irresponsible sex and spending out of your means to fit in.

There have been many who have journeyed down this road. They lose their job or drop out of college. College is always something you can go back to, they think. Their logic is that if they work two jobs, or get a full time job, they can afford to party harder. The future is now.

Encounters With The Law

Getting into legal trouble usually happens next. They stop making payments and get their first DUI, which comes with the expenses of legal assistance. Legal trouble is a disgrace to their familes, as well as to themselves. Setting you back financially and mentally. The stress may or may not covet you to change your behavior. You may or may not continue the behavior you have developed.

Now before you tag me as a spoiled and pampered kid: the only time I got into trouble was with the credit cards. It has always taken a lot to impress me. Never wanted a boyfriend with a fast new sports car or the family yacht that was at his disposal. I didn’t care about going to parties in the Hamptons with the other kids. Some of these homes had been suspected by the police for trouble. Drugs and alcohol have taken a couple of my friends into a miserable lifestyle. Luckily, their encounters with the law forced them to sobriety.

I wonder, can you actually force someone to change? I guess if you get into trouble with the law, is it more likely to result in change? These people have hurt their families and their reputations. They couldn’t change or perhaps didn’t see a necessity for change before the law stepped in. But how many will return to this behavior if given the opportunity, or if they have a weak moment?

Maybe it just takes some people longer to mature. Then there is the gene side of it. Addiction being hereditary.

As for me, I was having wine with dinner at age 10. It was never used to promote drinking though, but enhance the food. We never had a second glass, and it was an ounce, if that. I am not saying that this is right for everyone, but it didn’t make drinking an issue to me.

Drugs were never around me that I knew of. This must sound strange, growing up in New York, but we were never exposed to them. My parents did talk about it and informed us.

It wasn’t until college that I actually saw any kind of illegal drugs. It was an atmosphere I stayed clear of. I really had no desire to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or ever wanted to try anything that would make me lose my self control.

But some needed to have the experience. They soon were plummeting in a downward spiral. Grades and attendance dropping rapidly. Soon, we never saw them except for bumping into them and their new group of “friends” accidentally.

The story of one of my friends becoming addicted to drugs will be the next post here on Bunny.

This had the most impact on me. It is about one of my childhood girlfriends, from whom you never would have expected anything other than success in her life.

Unfortunately, she went to a party intoxacated. She met an older man. She was attracted to him. After more alcohol, he introduced her to his friend Mr. Crack Cocaine.

Till next time -
Your Bunny