You need to connect with your significant other even if it is a homemade dinner and a movie rental. One of you should have the incentive to make it happen. Really it may only take as long as 30 minutes for a meal or even order take out/delivery then a movie. This is lightweight stuff.

I am not suggesting meeting him at the door wrapped entirely in plastic wrap but that probably would get his attention. I prefer his boxers and one of his t-shirts but to each their own.

Marriage is all about sharing and learning how to live in harmony with your spouse. Forget about the old cliche ” we are one”  that is romantic and all but you are two individuals with two separate brains that are wired totally feel and react differently to things and situations. So know your boundaries and don’t be eager to over step them. It makes a huge difference how you react to them as to how quickly the mood can change.

I really think couples need to know that work is always going to be there and there comes a time when you both need to share – re-connect and re-fuel on why all of this going around you. Sometimes we lose site of the whys and need to be reminded we are in this together.Never take each other for granted and don’t start to assume.

Thumper and I decided last weekend would be ours to celebrate and relax. What happened was he went into overdrive on a project Friday evening which submerged into the wee hours of Saturday morning. I was not happy when I went to bed at 2AM.

When those times happen to get out of hand it is important that we stay clam to any unwarranted outbursts. Only because  it is going to turn in to an argument if you say anything. Let the person blow off steam and after words mention it if they don’t  first. You do deserve an apology but timing is everything and a lot of incidences happen so fast and are just a quickly forgotten about. So if the mood towards you has improved chances are the words said were actually not meant to hurt you but to have you realize his/her’ s stress level. With me, Thumper knows the lip. Yes, that is my pout face.

Oy! That’s a laptop or were talking to me ?

I know myself, at times I want to scream “stop the insanity” and then I get blinded with work. The thing is work can consume you if you let it. Like I said before it is always going to be there but there comes a time when you put your foot down to clients. These clients that keep coming back and expecting you to jump through hoops every email. Maybe they throw you a bone once in a while a little or another client but does that mean they own you and all your time? I don’t think so.

Now my take on this is different then some. Personally I feel if a client is sending you customers and sending you a tip – you got him. You can do one of two things and that is treat him as a number one client and up the price on the clients he sends you. Second, it is time that he realizes you have a life and maybe you didn’t charge him enough to begin with. Are you spending too much time on a project trying to impress when the client has been vague with details as to what he wants and then you spend more time recompiling more drafts and corrections.

We all want to get it right the first time but it takes practice to get our clients to get it right the first time around. It really is up to us to mold them and not have them mold us. Acting like a puppet instead of the puppeteer. He hired you! RIGHT!

This is just one reason a spouse is preoccupied with work. They think they are being productive but are actually counterproductive. In my case , when dealing with my  creative it whole new ballgame. When those creative juices start to flow it is like the flood gates have opened and you have to stand by.  My husbands creative juices run like bottled up testosterone. There isn’t anyway to explain it.

This can reflect on your relationship. It is important to have patience with your spouse but it is also necessary for you to point out things in a constructive manor. It is basically he/she has formed a habit that is normal but still unhealthy.It is more unhealthy for the one who has the habit and if you are wise you will work on their breaking this before it breaks your relationship by the rippling effect.

This might make you feel neglected , unloved or over think the situation and imagine the worse.

You see they don’t see what they are doing as wrong and you are going to likely look like the bad guy for enough mentioning it to them. Try a little tenderness and suggest a date and plan out something together. It goes back to supporting and being a couple even when you don’t agree. Constructive criticism is a good eye opener for each of us. But be nice, if they become defensive – be nice.Tell them their mood is having a negative effect at home but be nice. Be nice until it is time not to be so nice. Which means be more assertive and avoid being emotional. Save the tears and keep your voice low and calm. You are making a statement here that you are not going to accept his/her thrashing out at you when you have done nothing to deserve it. You are making an offer to discuss the matter.

What I find is when something is bothering my spouse and if it continues over a long period of time, it eventually has an effect on me and our relationship. I feel it has been trail and error but I think I am on to something here. As his partner I am responsible to putting a kabash on it once it interferes with what is most important to me. Just remember only you know how you feel and only your actions are what other people see. Honesty and love is must always be shown. Don’t become a black/white thinker when things seem tension. There are highs and lows in life when you expect everything to be rosy all the time then become devastated when something goes wrong, you are a black and white thinker. You need to remember a change in your spouse’ s mood doesn’t mean he/she has a problem with you. Communication in a relationship is essential for it to succeed and in all relationships require maintenance and refueling. Even when the bloody computer becomes too slow and the new phone company isn’t up to your expectations.

But when your date gets shortened to one day instead of two… Comprise is in order. Make the most of it or you will lose any quality time at all.

Saturday Thumper laid comatose sleeping in our bed, while I got up and took sometime for myself. I made myself some tea. I reached for a mug saw the egg cups and thought after I workout I will make some soft boiled eggs and toast soldiers. Thumper’s favorite breakfast as a child.

I drank my tea in the dinning room. I had decided not to venture into the cave where the computer was and Google Reader, Stumble Upon and Bunny got Blog. I started thinking of my friends and it was strange that the friends I had recently had over were the first to come to mind. I decided that I had to wipe out any plans with those girls since it was more a misery loves company event which made me reflect on my very best friends who don’t live locally so I called them. I decided to call them after my run and exercise.

I put a load of laundry in before hitting the tread mill. I ended up working out for 2 hours which meant running the wash threw the rinse cycle again. Took a shower and used my husband’s soap gel without thinking.

Got dressed and went to the kitchen to make breakfast and realized the fragrance from the soap gel was cultivating some unexpected emotions. So I grabbed some juice and the cellphone to call married logical friend who is a parent, #1 then single logical friend #2. I found myself feeling much better and laughing on an overdue three way call to my best female friends in the world.

Then it was back to the complicated world of laundry and cleaning. Still hadn’t eaten a thing so I made some pumpkin soup and strawberry marshmallows. I think I filled up on dipping bread in to the soup as it simmered on top the stove and the marshmallows were going to be my comfort food while Bear and I watched some movies in the evening.

A movie what do you watch when circumstances have changed and you know it wasn’t premeditated? I could take advantage and watch a chick flick. Emm, usually has a broken heart male bashing scenario want to watch something with some action.  I got it Salem’s Lot. Vampires and Rob Lowe, marshmallows and Bear. Vampires ~ Romania ! Oh yes, Thumper’s ancestors are from Romania, not that I believe in vampires or that they all come from Romania or because Thumper likes to work all night long, I have witnessed he feels much better when the sun if shining during the day.

I even made dogie treats  for Bear. He does enjoy his Scooby Snacks, Bunny style. Yes, I make treats for my dog. Bear loves peanut butter and oatmeal but I cook the oatmeal so it is easier for him to digest and add honey then bake it in the oven, cut it into squares.

YES! He is spoiled and he also like a Heineken now and then. I swear I had nothing to do with that, his first mother who is my best friend (the #2 above) after he outgrew puppy cuteness and became almost as big as she, I inherited Bear, a 90 pound American Pitt Bull and Lab  mix, who suffers from separation anxiety and has body image issues. Please, I am serious he thinks he should be carried down the stairs like his first mommy did until he grew up in to dogie adulthood.

Bear became my running partner and my protector after the my house mates moved out and Thumper moved in.

I decided to go on Stumble Upon around 4PM after all I have friends there and love to read. I had a relaxing conversation with a fellow stumbler who’s wife was sick in bed also. I shared my grievance and he was compassionate and pointed out how lucky I am to be married to my Thumper. But that was never the issue, I know this. We shared a drink or two then I decided to get off line. My friend made me think of the many on-line friends that I have also. Counting my blessings so to speak. I guess by this point I covered all my bases with friends and needed to call family. I called my parents, brother and grandparents. Then  I decided to work on an article for Bunny so  I would finally publish something on Sunday. The Answer Lies Within the Question was born in that mode.This took much longer then I had thought, next the movie.

The movie was scary but had a good message well a message I decide to take away from it. Vampires (like bad feelings) must be invited into your house. Who would of thought I would find that out in an old Rob Lowe movie? I am not sure why I picked this movie maybe I wanted a change of pace. It is not me to watch a scary movie or eat all the homemade marshmallows with Bear but that is what happened. No, I didn’t eat any scooby snacks.

Then on Sunday, Thumper awoke he wasn’t feeling himself but got up and even had some pumpkin soup after a while. We published a article on Bunny which I had worked on Saturday as was Stumbling and watched Peter Pan, the original Peter Pan made back in 1950 something. Okay, 20 minutes into the movie he fell asleep but I felt him next to me and as he stirred I said” very good you woke up for the ending.”

You know what is fascinating about watching an original Disney Movie is the way you respond to it now, years later as an adult. I really appreciate it more then when I was a child. It is more amusing. Like when Tinkerbell lands on a mirror. She examines her shape and when she gets to her hips is very unhappy with the size. I laughed so hard at this.  I didn’t even wake him up.

A  date is a great way to ease the tension and communicate. Voicing  your concerns to your partner is something only you can know how to do. Men have a resistance to this naturally. Schedules must be cleared and a commitment made for the date and time. If you have children I realize you could have added expense with a sitter but you can have your date at home and set down rules for the kids.

I feel at times when you go out you are too distracted. It depends on where you go really. Being alone and spending time playing board games or relaxing in a hot tub is more appealing to me. If you can swing a hotel with a hot tub in the room go for it. Just make it relaxing for both of you. If you have a problem to discuss I would suggest you do all the relaxing things first because you may realize that beef you have has lost its value.

Oh about the picture, well make sure it is  a movie you both will enjoy. I loved this pic and sorry Honey,  but I couldn’t resist. You fall asleep five minutes into a movie usually. YOU owe me a date to watch Peter Pan!!!

What gets under your skin?